Obsessed
I
ANNIVERSARY
I am haunted by my past.
One year ago today I murdered a man because he raped my girlfriend. The reason for this murder is quite simple. He had gotten away with what he had done. He got away with murder, and so did I!
To be truthful, it never really bothered me till now. And the only reason it bothers me now is this…
I believe that I am being followed and as impossible as it may seem, I think it is ‘him’, the man I murdered.
Somehow, he has come back from the dead and wants some kind of sick twisted revenge against me, for what I did to him even though it was he who drew first blood.
Still, I have no guilt for my deeds. What had happened to ‘him’ was punishment for his sins. Sins he committed against me and ‘her’, the love of my life who I left behind never to be seen again.
And now, a year later, two thousand some odd miles later, the memory of my past is making angry, angry enough so that I may kill again out of obsession.
I think it has something to do with ‘her’. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get over her even though it was me who left. Without warning or any kind of goodbye to anyone. I had to leave. It was the only thing left to do. She is unclean now as another man has been inside her, by force. And I can’t get over it. So I murdered the rapist and ran.
Now I reside on the other side of the continent under a new name, a new identity. My name is now Carter Frye as the world can never know my true name again. I live in a small house out in the countryside that I rent from another owner for a modest cost.
My landlord knows how to play the game. He asks no questions and keeps to himself. I need and enjoy my privacy. No neighbors banging down my door to borrow a cup of sugar or the lawnmower. The landlord lives on the other side of the property some five or six miles away. In some ways, this new place I have found to reside reminds me much of the place I left on the other side of the country. My true home. It is because of this reminder that I am not totally at ease. Sometimes I have urges to call ‘her’. To see if she has forgotten me already.
I know I cannot do this. If I do, I will have broken my silence and then ‘they’ can find me. All I want now is peace and solitude. I thought I had found it.
I was wrong.
I have gotten into trouble again, and the flashbacks from my childhood have started again. Memories of thing that I have no conscience memory of. It also looks as if ‘they’ might catch me. That is if ‘he’ doesn’t get to me first. The man who has come back from the dead to haunt me. The man I murdered a year ago today.
This time, I am scared as I can find no where to run to this time. I know wherever I go, ‘he’ will find me.
I didn’t really want to kill again. Neither one of them wanted to play the game. But I had no choice. If I had let either one of them live, then it would be me dead lying in a pool of my own blood.
For now at this moment in time, I am safe with two dead bodies in the trunk of my car, freshly killed. Time to play the disposal game again. And I just happened to know of a site out of town where I knew no one would be this time of night. There I would burn the bodies and dispose of the remains in some stream or river.
Then, for the second time, I will have gotten away with murder.
As I drive onward out of town, deeper into the night, I felt a pleasant sort of calm. Like I knew I was going to get away with what I was doing. That is until my car decided it was going to fuck with me.
Keep in mind, I had driven this piece of shit car across country. It was just about dead now. Every now and then the engine would miss a cylinder. As time went on, the problem was getting worse. Sometimes to the point where the damn thing would not run entirely. This scared me also as I was no mechanic. With two dead bodies in the trunk of the car, the last thing I needed now was the car dying in the middle of the open road.
It’s karma you see. Just as I start to feel good about something, the damn engine misses and fucks up my good time.
I glanced at the dashboard and sighed heavily. The light of the moon was shining through the windshield on off the dash. I smiled.
"Welcome back!" I greeted. "Glad to have you here again so you can witness more of my work." I looked up through the windshield and smiled some more. The moon just hung there, big, eerie, intimidating.
It was actually the look of damnation. The moon was actually God’s eye, and it had taken me the past year just to figure that out. He was watching everything I was doing, remembering all the sins that I commit. Telling me that soon I would rot in hell with the worst of them. The moon HAD to be God’s eye. It only seems to be around when I kill.
Or maybe it was just a freak coincidence.
This time I had fooled Mr. Moon. He had only seen me kill the cop, not the girl.
I didn’t mind killing the cop. All pigs deserve to die anyway. It was the girl who called herself Paula that I kind of felt bad about. But when it came down to me or her, it was her hands down. She…like the rest, are expendable.
She didn’t want me, and that was the problem. I had to have her. If she had just cooperated, she might be alive today. So it’s not my fault that she’s dead.
Simply put, Paula did not know how to play the game. That was all she had to do.
Paula had been a splitting image of ‘her’, the girl I left behind on the other coast. The comparison had been uncanny. I knew that when I saw Paula for the first time, I had to make her mine one way or another. Paula would have to take ‘her’ place, or die.
It was the way the game was played.
II
PAULAThe past year since my departure from the other coast where I had called home for the past twenty years, was going badly. In order for me to have a place to live and eat, I was forced to work a forty hour a week job at a shit job making pizzas for shit pay.
When I turned twenty one, a legal adult, I was alone. No friends or family to celebrate with me. I was in solitude exactly as I thought I had wanted it. People are nothing but a nuisance anyway. Everyone at one point or another will get in your way.
So on my twenty first birthday I wanted to go to some bar and get drunk, and possibly laid to get rid of some of this frustration I call my life.
There was a pleasant tavern in town called Toucan Sam’s which featured a grille, bar, and live music. Everything I needed right now.
But when I got there, I was in for the shock of my life.
I saw ‘her’. The girl I had left behind a year ago was standing on stage with a band behind her as she sang.
The girl who was unclean.
I wanted to run right up to her and hold her. Tell her how much I loved her and missed her. I wanted to feel her body against mine.
I suddenly remembered that ‘he’ had had her to and this thought disgusted me. I snapped back into reality and saw the complete picture for what it was. The female on stage was not actually ‘her’. It was just someone who looked a hell of a lot like her. Up close, I could see the differences. The girl before me was shaped differently. She was much more blessed in breast size.
I settled back in my disappointment and went to the bar for my first legal drink. A man of busy frolic approached me with the question ‘what can I get you’ smeared all over his face.
"Icehouse, bottle" I muttered. I was served the beer without being carded. But then this busy man started getting nosy.
Not the way to play the game.
"What’s up?" he asked me.
I glared at him. "Nothing." I said defensively. The man stepped back as if I might have offended him.
"Sorry man." He apologized obviously not wanting trouble. Maybe he could play the game after all.
"Who’s the singer?" I asked plainly. He looked over at the band as they were playing a so-so rendition of Madonna’s "Crazy For You".
"You mean Paula?"
"Is that her name?"
"It’s the name she uses." He replied wiping the bar clean with a towel. I took a swig of my beer.
Terrible stuff.
I looked back at the bartender, glaring at him as I started to cop an attitude. "What do you mean ‘the name she uses?’"
"You know how these women are." He replied. "A hot looking broad like that? It probably wouldn’t surprise me if Paula was not her real name. It’s probably some kind of stage name or something like that."
"It’s good enough." I muttered and got up from the bar with beer in hand. I found a table by the stage next to what appeared to be the ‘band table’. What I needed was a good excuse to get nosy with this Paula chick.
And then a plan hit me.
I raced back to my car for a camera I kept in my trunk. It only had six pictures left in it, but that would be enough. I returned to the table and waited. After fifteen more minutes, the band finally broke.
I watched every move Paula made with an obsession. She didn’t move like ‘her’ at all. But I could change that.
Her soft blond hair fell on her shoulders as the curls bounced. Her supple breasts swayed as she walked as the nipples poked at the tight black shirt she was wearing. There was no indication of any bra.
Oh yes, she will be mine.
She sat down at the table with the guitar player. They seemed to be close and this did not make me the least but happy.
"Get away from her." I hissed to myself feeling the anger rise. "I’m not gonna let you have this one too!"
I approached.
"Paula?" I asked with a pleasant tome and a professional look upon my face.
She looked up at me with a smile, smelling of perfume and sweat, a deadly combination. "Yes?" She asked in a pleasant but business like manner. Her voice wasn’t even the same.
"Hi. My name is Carter Frye." I lied. "I’m with the Evening Sun. I was hoping I could borrow you for a few minutes to talk about the band."
"I suppose so." She said without any suspicion of a set up. ‘Why if I might ask?"
"Well, starting next week, our paper is doing a weekly spotlight on bands in this area. My job is to hunt them down, see them play, get some info and do a write up. Plus a few pics to if possible." I explained.
I saw her face light up. She fell for it. She grabbed the guitar player by the arm and visibly got excited. "Oh Steve, this is so cool. We could use this kind of exposure." Paula exclaimed.
"We sure could." Steve agreed and squeezed her hand. I felt my smile falter a bit.
I didn’t like this fellow. I wished that he would get the fuck out of here, now!
Paula looked back up at me. "Okay!" She readily agreed. "Will this take very long?"
"No. Just a few minutes." I replied smiling pleasantly as I could. I sat down across from Paula, studying her closely. Inside my body I felt urges to do evil things. I wanted to reach out and squeeze those bulging breasts of hers. I wanted to bend her naked sweating body over this table and fuck her wet juicy cunt until I came into her body.
"How long has the band been together?" I asked acting professional. She looked at Steve and shrugged her shoulders.
"Oh, about three years I guess." She replied. I began to scribble meaningless answers on a napkin.
"Where’s your notepad?" Steve asked. He wasn’t playing the game.
Nobody seemed to understand that if you want to play the game you don’t ask questions. It’s nosy! And being nosy is breaking the rules. If you break the rules, there is a penalty.
I glared at the guitar player, Steve. He seemed slightly taken aback.
"Its a personal preference." I said off the top of my head looking at Paula as I answered. I thought that if I looked at Steve, he might see the deception in my eyes. "Looking like a reporter in a place like this would not be comfortable for me. I like to be casual. So I just wing it with what I have." I smiled and added, "Minus the camera of course!"
"Of course." Steve returned.
Paula smiled. She had ‘her’ smile. It brought back old feelings of love and security. Things I had lost.
"So to continue." I began. "Are you all original members?"
"Yes." Paula replied.
"And the name of the band is…?" This drew a funny look from Steve.
"Blind Lust." Paula replied. I looked up at her from the napkin.
I guess that was one word for it.
The fake interview continued with bullshit questions, giving me a segue into more private things. The things I wanted to know about Paula.
"So are any of you married?" I asked hoping for a no. I got a look of ‘what’s that got to do with anything’ from Steve.
"Steve and I are engaged." Paula beamed gazing over at Steve. He winked back at her.
I felt my smile totally disappear.
I heard the word NO scream over and over in my head.
She’s mine!
"Well," I said trying not to sound like I was disappointed. ‘I guess congrats are in order."
"Thanks." She babbled.
"I think what I have here will do." I said. "If I could possibly get a number where I can reach either of you at in case I need more information, it would help a bunch."
Steve did not look happy.
"Sure." Paula said and wrote the number down on one of my napkins. "This is our home number. The best time to call would be in the evening."
"Great." I replied. "I probably won’t need it, but just in case. Now, if you have no objections, I’d like to get a couple of pictures of the band playing next set. For the article."
"No, none at all. That would be great." Paula replied.
Oh she was going to be disappointed when there was no article in the paper next week.
"Excellent. Just look natural and ignore the camera if you can. Just forget I’m there. It’ll look better that way."
Paula agreed and I left the table to return to the bar feeling hard as stone. I saw Paula make a fuss with Steve after I left the table. Too bad she was getting excited over nothing. I was in need of something stronger than beer now. And sure enough, the prick bartender found his way over to me.
"You okay? You don’t look well." He asked. I gave him the same glare as before. This guy just didn’t learn.
"I’m fine. Mind your own damn business!" I snapped. He cocked an eyebrow. I continued to glare at him as I slapped a five on the table.
"Aftershock." I ordered. He poured the drink and I shot it, wiping my mouth off on my shirt without ever taking my glare off him. "Fuck off!" I hissed and walked to the other side of the room. Mr. Bartender was going to lose the game if he was not careful.
I looked around to scope the place out. No one measured up to Paula. I ha to have her and only her.
When the band went back on I used the remaining six shots in the camera. All of them on Paula. I could almost taste the sweat of her body in my mouth, the softness of those breasts in my face, my body pressed against hers as I slid in and out of her.
And then I remembered that Steve was probably going to take her back to their house tonight and fuck the living daylights out of her.
I felt the rage begin to resurface.
And then I had the feeling I was being watched.
I whirled around and saw no one looking in my general direction. Just all sorts of obnoxious people dancing, drinking and talking.
Nothing.
Except for someone sitting in a booth in the back of the restaurant, in the shadows. He was wearing a trench coat and sunglasses. I squinted my eyes to see through the haze of smoke.
I gasped and took a step back. Cold shivers went up my spine and bled through my entire body. What I was seeing was not possible. In the corner of this room, I saw a dead man. A man I murdered almost a year ago.
I saw ‘him’.
"No." I said out loud shaking my head. "You’re dead. I shot you myself. I watched your brain splatter all over Marlowe field." I looked back over to the booth and saw that now, it was empty. Immediately I scanned the room to see if he had gotten up. Nothing. I then decided I needed to get the hell out of here fast!
My God. What if by some miracle of the devil he survived. There was no way. The fucker bled to death after I shot him. I even buried the motherfucker.
I was scared.
I reasoned that I must have been exhausted and left. I needed to go back to my solace and masturbate. Where in my mind Paula would be riding me, pushing her sweet body onto mine while calling out my name. Screaming for me to come in her.
And in time, one way or another, I would make my wish come true.
III
PUNISHMENTIt would only be a matter of minutes now before I would be out of town and to the place where I would burn the two bodies in my trunk. That is if this damn car was going to play the game and cooperate. The engine was starting to miss again, big time. I was worried about this. If it were to die on me now, I would have problems.
I glanced at the dash and watched another mile on the odometer click by. The engine missed again and started to royally piss me off.
"Look fucker." I hissed at the car. "If you don’t start fucking cooperating with me, I will PUNISH you. Just like I punished Paula and the rest."
No response.
The engine simply missed again. I screamed in anger and slammed my foot on the break pedal and released it. The car jerked hard and then kept going. I heard the thud of the bodies in the trunk.
"Hey, knock it off back there!" I yelled. "I’m not going to take any shit from you two either dammit!"
Sluggishly, I pulled the car into a 7-11 convenience store to get gasoline which I was low on. I pumped in ten dollars worth and realized after I had done so that I had no money on me. I glanced up into the store to see who was working. It was only some greasy looking spick. I was pondering maybe just jumping into the car and trying to make a run for it. Problem is the spick could tag my ass and more pigs would come. I didn’t need that with the position I was in.
Perhaps I could reason with him and ask him to let me go get some money. He could take my watch as collateral. In reality, I would not return and he could keep the watch. It was broken anyway. It read 2:10 am but was actually closer to four. I looked up at the clerk from car again. If he was going to live, he was going to have to play the game. It appeared that he was reading some kind of magazine. This store also appeared to be in the middle of no where. There was another gas station across the street, but it was closed. I figured, if this guy really gave me a problem, I could get forceful. I still had the cop’s gun with six bullets left in the clip.
I walked into the store dejected looking. The clerk looked up with an impatient kind of stare, as if I had interrupted some important task he was involved in.
"Ten bucks si…" He started to say. His eyes bugged out at my shirt as his mouth dropped. "Jesus buddy, what in the hell happened to you?"
Calmly I looked down at myself. It seems that I had forgotten to change my clothes after killing the cop. The blood stains were still there, not even dry yet. I looked up at him calmly.
CLICK-click
I raised the pen I had been carrying in my pocket.
Calm.
Remain calm.
CLICK-click
"You obviously don’t know how to play the game." I stated monotone. "You ask to many questions."
"Hey man. I don’t want any trouble." He pleaded in a panic.
"FUCK you. You should have thought about that before you opened your fucking mouth, spick!" With my other hand I pulled the gun out of my pants and held it to his face. His look became one of frozen terror as his hands went slowly up in the air.
CLICK-click
So now you want to play the game. Too fucking late!
"Please don’t kill me." He pleaded starting to cry.
"Don’t hurt me daddy!"
>>SMACK<<
Pain
>>SMACK<<
"PLAY THE GAME YOU LITTLE BASTARD"
"No daddy, I don’t want to no more"
>>SMACK<<
"TAKE IT…NOW"
"Pleeeese daddy, nooooooooooo"
Daddy grabs my hair.
>>THUD<<
The wall
The floor
Hazy
"GET UP FUCKER, OR PAY!"
Spit blood
"Moooooooommeeeeeeee…."
>>CRACK<<
Blackness"SHUT UP FUCKER…OR PAY!" I screamed shoving the gun in the clerks face. The clerk became silent. "You sound just like that miserable fuck who raped my girl, and do you want to know what I did to him? Do ya? I blew his FUCKING head apart." I glared at him and smiled. "Besides, you know to much."
We stood there, with him behind the counter, hands in the air and me on the other side holding the gun in his face. You could hear the silence as time passed.
"What are you going to do?" He finally asked in a small voice.
I smiled. "Kill you." I replied. He cried out. I grabbed him by the collar and forced him over the counter. With the gun stuck up against the side of his head barrel first, I forced him outside the store. "That’s the problem with your fucking grease backs. You come to our country and take jobs away from real hard working American’s. Men with families to support, and what do you fucking do? You sit there with a fucking MAGAZINE and waste time, while sucking this country dry of money meant for its inhabitants! Not defecting pieces of shit like you!"
"Please. I’m only twenty three. I have a wife, a kid, please don’t kill me…" he pleaded.
"Shut the fuck up, didn’t you hear a thing I said?" I asked. "Are you ignoring me? That’s really not playing the game. When I talk, you fucking LISTEN!"
I forced him out into the middle of the parking lot so we could be in view of the moon. I wanted God to see what I was about to do. I wanted a witness to this sacrifice.
In a jerk like motion, I looked up at the moon. "HEY!" I shouted to it. "Scratch another one for ME!"
"PLEASE NO!" the helpless little clerk begged.
I figure it this way. If the little wimp wouldn’t even put up any kind of a fight, he deserved to die. And then maybe his so called wife could go find a real man to raise her son. But I think he might have been lying to me so I wouldn’t kill him. Now that really pissed me off.
"Shut up." I hissed in his ear. ‘I can’t kill you unless God is watching. And there is his eye." I pointed at the moon with the pen.
CLICK-click
The moon hung there surrounded by a ring of mist.
"Jesus H. Christ, your insane!" the clerk gasped.
"NO I AM NOT!" I yelled in his ear. "YOU’RE JUST TO GOD DAMN NOSY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME!" I jerked my head back up to the moon. "ARE YOU WATCHING? I WANT YOU TO WITNESS THIS, SO YOU WILL KNOW IT WAS ME!"
"No, plea…"
But the gunshot that blew his head apart all over the parking lot cut him off. The last thing I heard was the echo of the gunshot in the distance as blood and flesh splattered into my face and chest.
Splatter
"YES, OH GOD YES, MAKE ME COME"
Pulling on my hair
"NO FUCKER, GRAB IT, STROKE IT"
Rubbing hard.
"YES"
Squeezing my eyes shut.
Its all on my face again.
Bitter
"Okay, let go now."
Rubbing hard
"I said…LET GO!"
>>SMACK<<
The floor
Wiping my face.
"Dammit boy, when I talk you LISTEN!"
"Yes sir."
"Now go wash your fucking face before your mother sees you like that you filthy piece of shit."
Walking away.
"And remember boy…play the game…"
"And don’t tell no one, yes daddy."I started to claw at my face, wiping blood off with every swipe. I dropped the body of the clerk to the pavement as the gun and then pen both went flying off as I swiped at my face.
"GET IT OFF ME!" I screamed. "STOP IT DADDY"
Suddenly I stopped and realized where I was. I was covered with gore from the clerks body. Blood was covering the parking lot in copious amounts.
"Shit." I cursed. I hadn’t planned on getting this messy. I ran back into the store to clean myself up as quickly as possible and tried to think of a way to cover this mess up.
Blow the store up.
That was it.
I only had one change of clothes, and needed to save them until after I was done burning up Paula’s and the cop’s corpses. I took my shirt off and wiped myself clean. Without wasting anymore time, I enabled the gas pumps and returned to the front of the store.
There I found more trouble.
Outside was a car parked in front of the dead clerks body with an elderly man knelt down beside him. I was furious…beyond words. People were just so fucking nosy. They just couldn’t mind their own business!
Nobody really knew how to play the game.
I started for the old man with gun in hand, pointed directly at him. The elderly man looked up and fell back in surprise.
"HEY!" I yelled. "Why don’t you mind…"
I fired.
"…your own…"
I fired again.
"…goddam business!"
I fired again. All three shots penetrated the mans chest. I watched his dead body splash down in a pool of blood, and expression of terror etched upon his face. I walked up and stared down into his dead face with squinting eyes.
"You fucking leech." I hissed. "You’re better off dead you deficit inflating, government funded scam artist. The one less fat cat for my taxes to pay for!"
There were screams coming from inside the car, and when I whirled around to see who the hell it was, I saw an elderly blue haired woman in the passenger seat flaying her arms in front of her face. I glared at her for a moment. She froze
Dead quiet.
"Oh do shut up." I whined as I pointed the gun towards her head and fired. A red hole appeared in her forehead as she lay still, blood pouring from the hole. I shook my head and sighed.
What a waste
I only had one bullet left now.
I started up the gas pumps and watched the parking lot flood with gasoline. I started my car successfully and drove to the edge of the parking lot, waiting for the gas stream to trickle down to me. When I saw it approach, I lit up a cigarette and threw the flaming match at the stream of gas. It lit with a WHUMP and the fire spread around the parking lot at an alarming rate. I floored the gas pedal and sped away from the coming disaster as fast as the dying car would go. I guess I wasn’t five hundred feet away when the tanks blew.
The noise was unbelievable as the force shook the car a bit. I looked up at the moon. "Did you see that?" I asked it. "I did that…all by myself!"
The moon remained silent and still, balanced perfectly in the ring of white mist around it. I started to laugh. All this killing was starting to turn me on in a bad way. I thought to myself, maybe Paula would still be warm enough to have at again before I burned her. A glance in the rearview mirror showed the orange fireball behind me that once used to be a 7-11.
And there ‘He’ was. In trenchcoat and sunglasses watching me drive away. Following me, haunting me, not letting me forget that it was I who took his life and that he wanted me to pay. The look on my face was ugly.
"Fuck you." I whispered and pushed the car into fifth gear. The engine missed again.
IV
MALLI decided that I could not wait days and days to get that roll of film that had Paula’s pictures developed. I had to have it done as soon as possible. I took the roll of film to one of those "One Hour" places at the local mall/ The individual who took the roll of film from me was not a pleasant fellow, but he knew how to play the game. He asked no questions of a personal nature. The only set back is that I would have to wait a little longer than an hour as the girl who ran the developing machine had gone to lunch. I didn’t care as long as I had the pictures that day.
I was told to come back in a couple of hours. So I wasted time in this lame little mall. I had a bite to eat, shopped around for some new clothes, and scoped out a couple of chicks. But the pickings in this town were slim. Most of the really good looking women were already spoken for. Everyone else was either fat, ugly, or had more problems than Jeffery Dalhmer. It made me wonder what the hell Paula was doing in a town like this.
On my way back to the "One Hour" picture place I passed a pay phone. I stopped in front of it and pondered. I needed to know if Paula was planning to marry this Steve yutz. Maybe I had time to change her mind. I pulled out the napkin with her phone number out of my jacket where I had stuffed it the night before and proceeded to call her. I did not get her personally. Instead, I got an answering machine.
"Hi, you’ve reached the happy home of Paula and Steve. Nobody’s available to take you call right now, but if you’d leave you name and number at the beep, one of us will be happy to return your call at the earliest convenience. Thanks for calling, bye!"
Beeeeeeeeeep.
"Paula, this is Carter Frye. I have a few more questions for you before I write up the final draft of this article. I don’t have a phone at my house and I’m impossible to reach at the office, so I’ll call you back later. Bye now." I said and hung up the phone.
Disappointment.
It set in my stomach like a cement brick. I really wanted to hear her voice again. I walked in a bit of a huff back up to the store. Much to my surprise, a familiar face sat behind the photo developing machine.
"Paula?" I asked in utter shock. She turned around to face me as she sat at her bench.
"Oh, Carter! Hi!" She said with a big smile on her face.
Wow, a smile. Just for me. Actually, I think it was for the person who was doing the fake article for her band.
"I came to pick up my pictures." I said smiling at her. She had a sly look on her face.
"I figured you might. Or somebody from your paper would. I was the one who developed them." She said. My smile faltered a bit. Most of them, if not all, were of her. I hope she did not notice this flaw.
"Really?" I asked. "Did they turn out okay?"
"For the most part." She replied. Her smile disappeared a little. "Funny, some of the other pictures in this roll are of another girl. She looks like me, a little."
I felt my eyes widen as wide as they would go. There were pictures of "her" in there. I did not remember this.
"Could I see then now…please?" I begged, almost in tears. Paula seemed taken aback.
"Of course." She said sympathetically. She reached under the counter and brought up an envelope with the name FRYE on it. I practically grabbed it from her and ripped it open flipping through the pictures like I was looking for a lost valuable document. I felt panic inside. And then I was holding them. Pictures of "her". Oh God it was so good to see her face again. I had not seen any trace of her for almost a year. One was a picture of "her" all by herself. Another of her smiling seductively at me. And another of us holding each other, smiling. I looked different in the picture. Almost younger. There were a couple more pictures of her by herself, and one final picture. But this picture was bad. It had "Him" in it.
I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Carter, are you okay?" Paula asked with concern. I looked up at her with emotions I had not felt in almost a year. Love, compassion, concern, happiness, innocence, everything my life was not anymore. Now that I was a murderer.
"I’m sorry." I gasped, wiping away the tears hastily. She reached out gingerly and put her hand on my shoulder. The feeling of lust, anger and greed returned. I snapped back into reality again. The plan to have Paula resumed.
"Who is she?" Paula asked. Now, if it wasn’t for the fact that Paula asked that question out of sheer concern, I would have said she was not playing the game. But I let it slide this time. It was going to be part of my ‘plan’ to let Paula in.
"Someone I was very close to once." I explained through now fake sobs. "She dies about a year ago." Now this was a complete lie. She was alive and probably well on the other side of the continent.
"Oh Carter, I’m sorry." She whispered. "I really am, I didn’t mean to pry."
I waved my hand at her. "Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty much over it. I just didn’t realize I had taken these pictures." And then to further my plan, "Hey, you’re right, she does look a little bit like you, doesn’t she?"
Paula cracked a smile. "A lot bit if you ask me." I listened for a note of suspicion in her voice. There was none. I put the pictures back into the ripped envelope and proceeded to pay for them.
"When do you guys play again?" I asked her. Paula looked up from her work.
"Tonight." She said. "You should stop by, if you can." I smiled at her.
"Oh don’t worry. I’ll be there." I promised. She made an excited prune face and went back to work. I left the photo store and proceeded back to my car.
I suddenly had this really weird feeling that I was being watched. I casually looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Just busy people being rude to one another.
Until I looked around the planter to the left of me. Some fellow in a brown trenchcoat with sunglasses was standing behind the artificial tree looking in my general direction. I glanced behind me in the other direction to see if the stare was intended for someone else, but there was no one there. I walked over towards the planter and saw whoever it was, was now gone.
I walked onward and left the mall through one of the department stores and started for my car. Then the feeling was back. When I got to the car I looked back towards the doors I had just exited. In the foyer area of that entrance was the man in the trenchcoat. I squinted my eyes to get a better look.
I felt my stomach sink for the second time today.
It was "Him".
I pulled out the picture of him that I had in the envelope and compared the two.
It was the same person.
"No." I whispered out loud. "You are dead. You can’t possibly be alive." I was filled with anger now. I would not be intimidated by a dead man following me around. I ran back for the department store in time to see "Him" step away. I wanted to catch this bastard who thought it was real funny to make me think a man I had killed had come back from the grave.
I burst into the department store damn near knocking some salesgirl on her ass.
"Is there something I can help you with sir?" she asked trying to be polite. Clearly she was perturbed. I scanned the store and whirled around to her.
"There was a man just standing here." I rambled. "He was wearing a trenchcoat and sunglasses. Did you see which way he went?" The salesgirl merely looked at me as if I had just fallen off my trolley.
"Sir, I’ve been standing in this area nearly ten minutes now, and the only person I’ve seen come near these doors is you. And you were leaving." She replied impatiently. I felt the frustration level rise.
"That’s impossible!" I snapped. "I saw him from outside. He was watching me through those doors!" The salesgirl looked scared now. As well she should be! She was on the border of not playing the game anymore.
"Sir, I tell you. Nobody has been out these doors or even near then except you and me." She insisted again. This was getting no where.
"Don’t you have some kind of surveillance cameras to watch these doors or something?" I asked.
"No, not really." She replied glancing around to see if there were other people in the vicinity. She looked nervous.
"Nevermind then!" I said storming back out the door.
"Have a good day sir." She called out after me. When the door closed, I heard her call me a psycho. Oh well, she looked like a nickel and dime slut anyway. I ran for the car and proceeded to drive home.
But just as I drove out of the parking lot, I thought I saw "Him" in the foyer of that department store again. I wiped my hand across my eyes and sighed hard. I lit a cigarette and drove away.
V
GOODBYEI had to work fast.
It would only be a matter of time before this county was swarming with police and fire equipment in response to the 7-11 I just blew up.
The car was staring to miss two cylinders now. Not just one. And in addition to making the situation worse, it was just really pissing me off to the point where I needed to fuck something just to ease the tension. I thought of Paula’s dead body in the trunk. It might still be warm enough with a little lubrication.
I had driven far enough where I could no longer see the fire on the horizon anymore. Eventually I came to the dirt road the lead off the main road. The road I was waiting for.
I was finally here. I turned onto the dirt road and drove though the wilderness for about a mile. I came to an opening. It was the foundation where a big house or building used to stand. Now it was nothing but a big hole in the ground presumably where the basement was. I stopped the car right in front of the big pit and killed the engine. The headlights dies also. It didn’t matter. There was enough light cast from Mr. Moon through the trees for me to see by. Once again, Mr. Moon would be an accomplice. I walked to the trunk of the car and opened it. I felt the two bodies. The cop was still warm, but Paula was a little clammy. Still, it would be better than masturbating again. I pulled her body out of the trunk and laid her down on the ground. It took some effort to get her clothes back off her, but eventually, she lay there in all her glory. The sight gave me a full erection. I glanced over at the cops dead body and figured I would wait till I was done with Paula before I pulled him out of the trunk also.
I began to undress myself. As I did, I winked at the moon. I knelt beside Paula’s dead body. Her breasts were still full and pouting. Smiling in a sort of ecstasy, I reached for one of them and squeezed gently. It was almost cold, but still soft. She wasn’t stiff yet, although I was. I grabbed her other breast and squeezed them both hard. Hard enough to warrant a complaint from any live woman. Paula did not say a thing. She would never again tell me no.
I leaned over and started to suck on one of them. I let her entire breast fill my mouth as I sucked harder, biting at the same time. One of my hands slid down her stomach to her crotch. I began to run my fingers through her pubic hair. I was so horny. I needed to come. Come inside her beautiful body. I looked up into her dead and silent face and kissed her on the mouth. Her lips were as clammy and as cold as clay. I stuck my tongue in her mouth and pushed her tongue around with mine. Then I licked her face.
"My God I want you so bad." I told her. Her crotch was still moist. Probably from the orgasm I has inside her earlier this evening. It was almost cold. I sat up and stared at the pie shaped mound of hair. So smooth, so rounded. I started to lick her cold stomach and worked my way to the edge of her pubic hair line. Slowly I tongued my way down to the moisture. With my hands under her legs, I pushed them up over my head so I had full access between her legs. My tongue entered her cooling body. I licked at her hard, tasting the remains of myself I had left inside her from our previous encounter. This was not as good as it would have been if she were alive, but it would do for now. I forced my face into her and sucked hard.
I could stand no more. I was so hard and I though I was going to explode. I knew she was not quite wet enough to penetrate easily. I retrieved a quart of motor oil from out of the trunk and greased her up with that. I pushed her legs apart and lowered my body to hers. Grabbing myself, I pushed slowly into her body. It was still fairly moist, just cool. I inched my way into her and started to rock back and forth as her legs rested against my chest. I looked down at her wonderful body and savored the sensation that it was this desirable body that was going to give me an orgasm. I let my body fall against hers so that her breasts pushed up against me. I fullness of them made me push harder as I moaned.
I kissed her open mouth and began to lick at her lips.
"Come on Paula." I whispered in her ear. "Make me come. I want to come inside you."
For a moment, I stopped. I pulled her body off the ground and against mine as I fell on my back. Now Paula and all her weight were on me. I grabbed her hips and began to rock her back and forth. She sucked at me as I rocked harder.
"God Paul, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come so hard. Give it to me!" I was saying. I felt my load rise from within me. I felt myself swell with orgasm as I came into her body. Five or six bursts as I dug my fingers into her hips…pushing, until I was done.
I was sweating and breathing heavy as Paula’s body fell against me. I lifted her up a little so I could look into her face, her eyes half open. There was no life there at all. I kissed her on the mouth.
"Paula," I began. "I love you. I’ll always love you. If you had done this when I asked you to, you would still be alive."
And then I pushed her useless body off of mine and listened to it thud to the ground. I wiped myself clean and dressed again.
VI
KIDNAPPINGI was at Toucan Sam’s even before the band was. All their equipment was set up. I was assuming that because they played here two nights in a row, that maybe it was never torn down.
I sat in the back of the bar, out of sight so no one would notice me. If "He" showed up again in his trenchcoat and sunglasses again, I wanted to see him before he would see me. Plus, I wanted to get to Paula before anyone else did. Tonight, I would make her mine. I didn’t know how, or when. But it would happen.
The band showed up about a half an hour later. It only took Paula five minutes to discover that I was here. She walked over to me and I watched her hips sway as she walked. Tonight she was wearing a skin tight mini skirt, black, which detailed her panties. Thong of course. She also had on a loose shirt and because her breasts were sizable, they pushed the shirt out far enough so you could peek inside and see that no bra was present.
This was an invitation as far as I was concerned.
The fantasies of what I wanted to be doing to her were so strong and domineering, I didn’t even hear her say…
"Hi Carter, how ya doing tonight?"
I snapped my head to attention and looked up into her beautiful baby blue eyes.
"I’m sorry?" I asked not hearing her. She smiled and sat down.
"I said, ‘How are ya tonight?’" She repeated in a playful manner. I smiled weakly and shrugged my shoulders.
"Okay I suppose." I replied softly. I stared at her dreamily. She was all smiles.
God Paula, I have to have you. Can’t you see that I have to make you mine. You’re the only woman left who can save me from this cold despair I’ve sunk into. Your face, your smile, your body. You are so perfect. I’ll never find anyone like you again. I have to know what making love to you is like. It would be the most perfect thing on this Earth.
"Is it that girl in the pictures?" She asked with a half smile, like she didn’t want to be rude.
"I guess you could say that." I confessed. "I really miss her. And I’m embarrassed to admit, you remind me of her."
"Don’t be embarrassed." She said with sincerity. "I’m very flattered that you would compare me with someone who meant so much to you." She leaned forward and hugged me. I though I was going to die of shock. I was feeling the pressure of her breasts against my body for the first time. I was hard instantly. "You seem like such a nice guy Carter. A real sweetheart. And someday I’m sure you’ll make some luck girl very happy."
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
She pulled back and help my arms. I looked into her eyes and for a moment, I though I was going to kiss her. I did not.
"Thank you." I managed through a fake sob. "It’s real nice of you to say so." She smiled such a sweet smile.
"Listen, I have some stuff I have to get done." She said. "But I’ll come back before I go on. Okay?" I nodded my head. She gave me another small hug and got up. I watched her ass as she walked back to the stage.
I sighed from the frustration of it all. I wanted her. And I would have her.
The plan was all set. All I had to do was lure her out to my car and hope that no one was watching. In my car, I had a ‘rough draft’ of the article I was supposedly doing for the newspaper. I had to convince her to come out and see it.
I waited patiently in my seat for Paula to finish her pre-performance duties and then come back to me. It would be then that I would lure her to my car. And take her.
True to her word, she returned to chat with me. I watched her approach full of smiles. I was looking at the outline of her underwear through her skirt. Tonight…I would have her. I would give Paula something she would never forget.
"Carter," she called out as she approached. I looked up at her.
"Yes?"
She sat down across from me and looked into my eyes. I felt my heart rate jump. I wanted her love.
"Steve said you called and left a message on our machine. That you had additional questions?" she asked. I hated to hear her talk of Steve like they were close. It sounded to much like a similar conversation back home that used to transpire about "Him" and "Her". It made me sick to my stomach. But on the other hand, what Paula had just done was seal her own fate. It was an opportunity to get her outside to my car. Oh, it was so perfect.
I felt my expression light up with this idea. "Yes. Yes, I do as a matter of fact. I’m glad you said something. I had almost forgotten about it." Paula looked intrigued. I began to sit up. "I finished the rough draft of the article that I want to submit. But there are a couple of things I wanted to check over with you before I do that." I explained.
"Okay." Paula said excited.
"I didn’t want to bring all my papers in here." I began hoping this was going to work. "They’re out in my car."
"Well, I can come outside with you if you don’t want to bring them all in here." Paula offered.
This was going to be too easy.
"Sure." I said getting up for the door. Paula followed. She turned back towards the stage.
"Steve." She called out. He looked up from a pile of cables. "I’m going outside with Carter to see a copy of the article for the paper." He waved at her and went about his business.
Ah, Steve knew how to play the game.
Paula and I walked out the doors towards my car. "I wanted to tell you I really like the ways you guys played last night." I said. "The music is tight. The beginnings and endings are together, and its just very pleasant to listen too!" I hoped that buttering her up like this would ease the anger she might have after I kidnapped her.
"Thank you!" she beamed. I could hear the smile on her face. Hell, maybe I had a real chance with her after all. I approached the passenger side door of my car and opened it. In the seat was a briefcase which I kept various papers in. I brought it out.
"It’s in here." I said as I opened it. I was really hoping this would work. There was no ‘rough draft’ in here. Just a bunch of crap. I felt the adrenaline rush.
I pulled out a folder of papers and let them slip to the asphalt below. Paula giggled and bent over to start picking them up.
It worked.
"Sorry about that." I said apologetically. Quickly I scanned the parking lot. Nobody was nearby. I closed the briefcase and looked down at Paula who was still bent over gathering papers.
"It’s okay." She replied.
"It will be now." I whispered and brought the briefcase down on the base of her neck as hard as I could. Paula cried out briefly and collapsed unconscious to the pavement.
Holy shit, it did work!
I lifted her limp body and pushed it into the passenger seat of my car. I closed the door and crept over to my side as quickly as I could. It would only be a matter of minutes before Steve started to worry when Paula did not return.
This plan was so perfect. Steve had no idea what my car looked like. And even better, I lived only about ten minutes away from here.
When I was in the car, I secured Paula to the seat and taped her hands together in case she came to during the drive. I was so scared, yet calm at the same time.
At my house, I brought Paula’s limp body inside and laid her down on the bed in my bedroom. With four pairs of handcuffs, I secured her to the bed via her wrists and ankles to the bedposts. When she was secure, I knelt to look up Paula’s skirt to see what color her underwear was. Black. I felt the erection grow.
Now if Paula would cooperate and play the game…all would go well.
I stood up slowly and reached for her breasts, so I could touch them. They were soft and warm, and very full. I wanted her now. But I knew this was not the correct time. I needed to confront her before I make her mine.
In the interest of not waiting all night for her to come to, I used an ammonia inhalant to bring her back to consciousness. She slowly awoke. I eagerly watched her eyes open in anticipation of what was to come. She looked right at me.
"Carter?" She asked in confusion. I smiled and sat down next her and touched her arm.
"Don’t worry." I whispered to her with a measurable amount of compassion. "This is for…"
VII
BURN"…your own good." I said as I threw the match on top of Paula and the cop’s dead bodies, both soaked in gasoline. The two bodies were in the pit in front of the car. Both bodies caught fire immediately and began to burn, emitting a rather foul stench. I wrinkled my nose and walked back to the car to wait for the burning to be complete. When they were done I would crush the bones. Except for one of Paula’s. Which I would keep for myself so I would always have a part of her with me.
After about ten minutes the fire started to die down. Soon I would be done.
What was to happen after this, I had no idea.
VIII
CONFRONTATION"I don’t really have to justify myself or my actions if I don’t want to." I said holding the pen, my release, in my left hand. Paula was lying spread eagle on my bed fully awake now. A look of horror on her pretty face. "But I feel, because I love you, that you must know why."
CLICK-click.
"You love me?" Paula asked attempting to remain calm. She tried to pull her hands up to show me what she was referring to.
"If you play the game, it will only be a temporary measure." I assured her sitting down next to her again.
"What do you mean ‘play the game’?" She asked angrily. I had hoped maybe she would not be.
I chose to ignore the question. "Let me tell you a little story." I began.
CLICK-click
"I used to be a normal average everyday person like you. I had a beautiful girlfriend, an okay life.. But there was this man, who was my girlfriends so called best friend. One day, she decided to get dressed up for me as I was going over her house for dinner. She was wearing a skimpy skirt, much like the one your wearing now. Her so called ‘best friend’ came over her house before I got there and asked her to go for a walk. She agreed."
CLICK-click.
"He told he had something for her back at his house and wanted to show her, so she agreed. When she got there, he raped her." I paused. It hurt to remember this. "This guy had taken the one thing that meant more to me than anything and abused her. Made her unclean so I couldn’t have her anymore. When the whole thing was over he was arrested and I had an unclean girlfriend. Well, if this wasn’t bad enough, she forgave him for what he did to her. Because they had been close friends and shared a ‘special bond’." I laughed.
CLICK-click
"Oh God she was so blind. She couldn’t see him for the scumbag he really was. So I decided that I would have to take my own actions against him so he would really pay. Even if he got away with it in court it wouldn’t matter. She forgave him and that’s what he wanted.
"So one night I set him up to meet me in the middle of a desolate field where the two of us would be alone. It was there that I murdered him. In cold blood."
CLICK-click.
"Now he paid. Justice had been served.
"But I couldn’t stay there. Everyone would have known it was me. So I ran and came here." I paused again so I could compose myself. ‘This happened a year ago today." I watched the look of shock on Paula’s face.
"So what do you want from me?" She asked. I snapped back into reality as I had been thinking about "her".
"The picture you saw of the other girl, the one who looks like you." I said. Paula nodded. "That’s was "her". I thought you were her when I saw you for the first time. I know that you are not, but I can make you into her so I can have my life back. So if you play the game, you won’t get hurt."
CLICK-click.
I didn’t look at Paula then but I knew she was on the verge of panic. She was starting to breath hard.
"I can’t be her Carter. If that’s even your real name. I am my own person. You have to let me go."
I whirled around in anger to face her. She flinched. "No!" I spat. "I have to have you. You are so perfect and I have to make you mine. You can either play the game or take your chances!"
"And what do you want me to do? Sleep with you?" She snapped. I jumped on top of her and mounted her.
CLICK-click.
"That would be nice." I stated and grabbed her shirt. I stopped and we looked at each other. "You belong to me now Paula. Forget Steve. He is part of your past." Throwing the pen to the floor, I ripped open her shirt exposing her large full breasts. I felt a warm rush come over me as I fondled them. Paula was still and silent as she could not move to stop me.
"Stop, please…" She asked in a sob.
"The more you beg for me to stop, the more pissed I will get." I warned. I lowered my face to suck on one of her nipples. She tasted so sweet.
She began to cry.
"You will shut up and you will enjoy this. Or I will punish you. Do we understand each other?" I asked. Without words, she nodded. "I want you Paula. I haven’t wanted anybody like this since I left home. Now, tell me you want me."
She was silent.
"Tell me!" I hissed. Paula uttered a small cry. I grabbed the back of her hair and forced her head back. She cried out loudly this time. "Tell me you want me!" I hissed even harder this time. She screamed. I backhanded her across the face. "SCREAM ALL YOU WANT, NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU." I paused. "Now tell me you want me. Last warning."
"I…I want you." Paula uttered in a small voice. I reached up her skirt and fondled her through her underwear. She was hot and wet.
"See Paula. You’re wet. I know you want me too." I informed her whispering in her ear. "Now beg me to fuck you!"
"No." She sobbed without hesitation. I backhanded her harder this time.
"Say it!" I insisted. She clenched her teeth and held her breath. I slapped her again. She cried out.
"STEVE! HELP ME, PLEASE." She begged.
"No!" I yelled. "No one will help you! Only you can help yourself. Now say it! Tell me to fuck you!" I grabbed the top of her skirt and ripped it off. The sight of her beautiful body in those sexy underwear made me gasp.
This could be so beautiful if she would just cooperate.
I reached under her panties and fondled her some more. She cried out harder and then suddenly she just stopped.
"Okay!" she screamed. "Fuck me, just get it over with!"
Boy, did that take me by surprise. I ripped off her panties and gazed at her body. This was going to feel so good.
"Good girl." I told her. "Relax, you’ll enjoy this."
"No. No I won’t. But just remember something while you’re getting your rocks off. You are no better than that man who raped your girlfriend. You’re doing exactly what he did. Stealing somebody else’s life. And maybe this time…somebody will murder you!"
I slapped her hard. "No, that won’t happen. I’m not dumb enough to get caught." I positioned myself between her legs and forced myself inside her.
IX
REMAINSI walked over to the pit where the burnt bodies lay. What I saw were two black, smoldering skeletons covered with what looked like melted black gore.
"Uhh…" I moaned. "This is gonna be sick." I put on some heavy duty work gloves and dragged the smoldering bodies over to a concrete surface. For the job of crushing the bones I had brought with me a heavy concrete block which I had swiped from a construction site back in town. Because of the heat, the bones were tender and they would crush easy.
So I began the ugly task of crushing the remains of Paula. And the cop.
X
BETRAYALPaula’s body was tense as she laid on my bed while I had my way with her. She made no noise and kept her eyes closed. It was so heavenly to feel her warm, wet, sucking body around me. There was no sensation like this at all. However, if she had been an actual participant, it would have been the best sex. As I pushed myself into her I watched her breasts shake with the motion. And when I looked down I saw juices seep from within her as I slid in and out.
"Tell me to come in you Paula." I gasped in her ear. She groaned and gasped. For a moment I thought she was enjoying this.
"Come on." She sighed. "Come in me, I want all of it!"
She was into this after all. She really did want it! She could play the game!
I was thinking I could undo her cuffs so I could feel those long sexy legs around me and let her dig those long nails into my back. I looked down at her.
"Paula, if I undo your hands and legs…am I gonna regret it?" I asked. She looked into my eyes.
"No." She whispered sweetly. "I want you to fuck me with all your might!"
Without hesitation, I reached for my pants and took out the handcuffs key and undid her.
"If you try anything." I warned her. "I will kill you." I glared at her, holding her down with my weight. She wrapped her legs around my waist as her arms encircled my body. She then started to moan. Unfortunately, it made me come quicker than I had anticipated. And then it was over. I was empty. I gazed down at her perfectly built body, knowing I had made it mine.
Paula was smiling. I smiled back. "Thank you." I said softly. "I love you Paula. This means more to me than you will ever know. Thank you."
"No." She said smiling. "Thank you. Thank you for letting me go…you fucking psycho!"
She brought her leg up between my legs. Hard.
XI
CORNEREDWhen I had completed crushing all the bones, which had taken me longer than anticipated, I stood there and gazed in awe at what I had created. A neat pile of white and charred black pieces, shards, and chunks. The only thing I had left was Paula’s jawbone which was my momento.
From the car I brought a trash bag and put all the remains in there. I would take them to the nearest river and dump them. And then it would all be over.
With the remains once again in the trunk and myself fully dressed in new clothes, I drove away from the site and started father out of town. The nearest river I knew of was another five or six miles down the exact same road.
Out of no where, the car backfired loudly and the engine quit. In silence I pulled the car over to the side of the road and came to a stop.
My anger had me in a place beyond words.
I popped the hood and left the car to examine the engine. I was now getting plenty scared. I could not just leave the car with the remains of two human beings in the trunk. They could be traced back to me. I felt panic start to set in.
In frustration, I hit the engine with my fist. And then the headlights appeared from behind my car. I looked around the hood in time to see the red and blue lights on top of the car come to life as a police officer stopped his car right behind mine.
"Oh shit." I whispered to myself. I felt the blood pressure rise. It was the heat coming off my face that clued me in. I though for a moment I might pass out. The cop stepped out of his car and stood at its side. I reached for the gun in my pants only to realize…it was no longer there. It was in the trunk with the human remains.
XII
DEATH"You bitch!" I wheezed after I realized what she had done. Pain shot up through my groin as I rolled over. Paula jumped up on the bed and was ready to attack again. When she tried to kick, she missed as I rolled off the bed onto the floor. She lost her balance and fell. I had to get up or I was a dead man for sure.
I had fallen for a stupid trick. I actually thought for a moment, blinded by lust and passion that Paula had wanted me too. It was all just a sacrificial ploy on her part so she could escape.
Now she would have to die. No matter how much I loved her.
I jumped up, much to my groins protest and threw myself on top of her naked body. She put up a struggle, but it was not enough. If I thought I could have done it…I would have had at her again.
"I’LL KILL YOU. YOU CRAZED MANIAC!" she screamed. I slapped her across the face with all the strength I could muster. From somewhere I could not see, she started to bleed.
"No Paula. You could not play the game. Now it will be I who kills you." I hissed. I placed her unwilling head beneath my arm into a headlock where she would not escape. "I love you." I told her as she struggled. "I’m sorry."
I tightened up on my grip on her neck and jerked hard.
I heard her neck snap.
"YOU BITCH!"
>SLAP<
"PLEASE STOP"
Mommy is crying
Mommy is bleeding.
>SLAP<
"Worthless bitch. You suck dick like worthless slut"
"Please…no more"
>SLAP<
"I will say when you’ve had enough, whore"
Whimper.
Daddy sees me!
Run
Run run
Run run run
"COME HERE!"
Run faster.
Run for the outside door.
Door won’t open.
"You spying little bastard."
Daddy grabs my hair.
"Not the way to play the game son…"
>SLAP<
Stars.
"Now you will PAY!"
"No STOP!"
Mommy is here.
"STAY OUT OF THIS BITCH"
The fist.
Daddy punches Mommy.
Mommy falls down.
She does not get up.
"Mommy!"
Daddy throws me to the ground.
Daddy is on top of me.
"Now boy, you will do it right…"
Pants unzipping.
"Nooooo…"
"SHUT UP AND TAKE IT FUCKER!"
Closing my mouth
Daddy grabbing my jaw.
My mouth is open.
>SLAP<
Blood.
Grabs my hair.
"Now SUCK on it boy!"
Mouth full.
No more.
I want to die.I dropped Paula’s lifeless body to the ground and fell to my knees.
"Daddy…" I whispered.
XIII
DECEPTION"Are you okay?" I heard the cop yell out. I help my hands up so the cop could see I was unarmed.
"Car trouble." I yelled back. I watched the cop unsnap the holster his gun was in. But he did not draw. This in all actuality was standard police procedure. Nothing to be worried about really. I kept my hands in the air.
"What’s the matter?" He yelled back, slowly approaching. He seemed friendly enough. Maybe I could bluff him.
"Engine won’t start." I said. "I stopped to take a piss and now the damn thing won’t start back up." The cop shown his flashlight in my face and I squinted.
"Shit." He said. "I don’t know a goddam thing about cars." I cracked a half smile. "I could radio you a tow truck."
"Actually, I know what the problem is." I said lying. "I can take care of that. But you should have seen the idiot who tore by here in a big goddam hurry. Looked like he was doing about ninety or so."
The cop jerked to attention. "Did you see what kind of car it was? Or even the plate number?"
"Hell no. Didn’t have time to see the plate. The car itself looked like a Camero. You know? Cause of the taillight? It had the taillights of a newer year Camero." I answered. This was cake. The dumb cop was buying every word.
"Did ya see the color?"
"No, it was too dark."
The cop raced back over to his car while he yelled, "Are you gonna be okay with the car?"
"Yeah, I’ll be fine. Anything else I can do to help you?" I asked. The cop jumped into his car.
"No." I heard him yell. But before he pulled off into a frenzy, he stopped to tell me one more thing. "Sir, I would advise you to get off the road as soon as possible. There is a maniac loose around here tonight. It might not be a bad idea to get indoors."
I plastered a worried look on my face. "Why? What’s going on?"
"Can’t talk now. Lets just say this guy is dangerous. And the sooner you are on your way, the better."
"Anything you say sir." I said. He nodded his head as he took off down the road. I shook my head in disbelief. "Fucking idiot!"
And still, the car did not start. And it would only be a matter of time before the cop figured out I was lying. That I was the maniac he was looking for.
Well, at least I was considered dangerous.
That made me feel a little better.
XIV
AFTERMATHMy God.
I’ve just killed another human being.
What on Earth possesses me to do such a thing?
It must be some kind of special talent. A God given talent to kill people. Maybe I should be working for the government.
I sat in my house and tried to figure out what to do next. Clicking my pen to comfort me in light of the flashback about my father.
What did it all mean?
That could not have really happened.
I also really had not planned on killing Paula. I was supposed to be a last step measure. I guess I should have thought more about this. I should burn the body and crush the bones. Hell, I even know of a place where I can do it. I remember an article out this old house that was torn down on the edge of town. Some lame little group wanted to preserve the house for historical reasons. But the state had said ‘no way’.
It was in the middle of no where.
That’s where I would take Paula and burn her body and be rid of this horrid memory forever. But I would have to run again as Steve would be looking for me.
This was getting to be a bad habit. Killing people and then running. I was running out of places to hide.
Well, at least Mr. Moon wasn’t around to witness this murder. But I knew he was outside waiting. He would see the dead body when I took it out to my car.
Oh well.
I clumsily dressed Paula up in some of my sweat clothes and took her out to the passenger seat of my car. She looked like she was asleep. I wiped the blood off of her mouth with my sleeve.
I then started to drive for the edge of town to where the old house site was.
The only detour I made was at a construction site on the way out of town where I picked up a huge concrete block. I needed something to crush her bones with when her body was done burning.
And the moon watched the whole thing.
XV
"HIM"After about ten minutes of fiddling with the engine I finally got the damn thing started. It didn’t run very well and I figured it wouldn’t be very long before the whole damn car just stopped running altogether. I feared I might not make it out of this state in this particular car. I would have to try. What other choice did I have?
It was only a matter of minutes before I reached the bridge over the river where I would dump the remains in my trunk. No cops had come yet and this was good. I parked on the side of the road and walked to the middle of the bridge. The whole scenario was real familiar. And the moon was watching. As always. I held the bad over the side of the bridge and watched the fragments of bone fall to the water below.
It was done.
Now all I had to do was get the hell out of this state and fast. I crumpled up the bag and stuffed it in my pocket. I would burn it with the clothes and then all the evidence would be gone. Well, except for the gun.
The goddamned gun.
I suppose while I was here I should dismantle the damn thing and throw it over the side of the bridge also. I wouldn’t need it anymore. I started back for the car and then stopped dead in my tracks again.
There was a man standing in front of my car.
He wore a trenchcoat and sunglasses.
It was "Him".
Now I was scared. For now, I might die.
I looked up at the moon. "Did you tell him I was here you son of a bitch?" I hissed. "He" started to walk towards me. I glared at him head on. "COME ON YOU SON OF A BITCH. LETS FINISH THIS NOW! I KILLED YOU ONCE, I"LL DO IT AGAIN!"
XVI
COPI drove as fast as I could exceeding the speed limit by at least half. This was my first mistake. I should have known better. If you want to avoid the law, don’t give them a reason to fuck with you.
I suppose this is the reason I got pulled over by a cop. I was doing damn near eighty miles per hour in a forty five zone.
In short, I was fucked.
I sat in my seat after pulling off the road and waited nervously for the policeman to approach my car. I had a dead woman who I had just raped, who was probably reported missing after last being seen with me sitting in the passenger seat, and I had no good excuse for speeding like I was in the Indy 500.
I placed my hands on the steering wheel to show the cop I was unarmed. He came to the window and I rolled it down.
"Evening." The cop said. "Could I see your drivers license and registration please?"
"Yes sir." I said reaching for my wallet in my back pocket. I gave him my license. My fake license with the name Carter Frye on it. My registration however had my real name on it. And if I gave it to him it would probably not be a happy thing. If I had ever been reported missing back home it would probably show up on his Teletype.
In short, I had problems.
"Do you have a registration for this car?" the cop asked. I looked at him as he shown the flashlight in my face.
"Yes sir, I do. But its in the trunk of my car." I replied. I could not see his expression.
"What’s it doing in there?" he asked.
"I was cleaning out the glove box and I just threw everything in the trunk. I just completely forgot about it." I explained. "If you allow me, I could get it for you."
The cop moved his flashlight out of the way so I could see him. He was an older man and not a kid. If I had to fight him, I knew that I would lose. Big time. Somehow I had to get his gun.
"What’s wrong with her?" the cop asked referring to Paula. I smiled sheepishly.
"She’s asleep. Exhausted. We were on our way home from a party." I explained. The cop squinted his eyes to get a better look at her. He made a funny look on his face which aroused my curiosity.
"I’ll be right back." The cop said taking my license back to his car. And then it dawned on me. If a missing persons report was filed on Paula, and she was last seen with Carter Frye. I would be in a bad place as that was the name on my license.
I glanced around the cockpit of the car to see if I had any weapons. I saw none. Oh man was I in trouble. How could I get this far not to make it?
It was only a matter of minutes before the cop returned to the car. "Sir, if I could have you get your registration for me please." He said in a monotone voice. Well, I wasn’t nabbed yet. The cop then hit me with a good one. "Could you wake her up also please?"
"Do I have to sir? She’s dead tired."
"I need to see her identification." He stated. I had no idea what I was going to do. I reached over and shook Paula’s arm.
"Paula sweetheart, could you wake up for me please?" I said to a dead lady.
No response.
Then I heard it. It was the sound of a gun being drawn from its holster. I didn’t have to turn around to know it was pointed right at my head.
XVII
"HIM""He" was coming right at me. He was going to have his revenge.
"What the hell are you going to do you fucking pansy." I yelled at him. "Beat me up? I’m not afraid of you. C’MON!" It was then that "he" pulled out a gun. It was the exact same gun I had used to kill him with. "Will it make you feel better to shoot me?" I asked standing in the middle of the road, arms spread out. He continued his steady pace towards me. "Maybe you want to cut my dick off and make me eat it too? Just like I made you do? You lame ass prick!" His pace was steady.
And then there was the honking of a car behind me. I whirled around to see what the hell it was. All I heard was somebody telling me to get my fucking ass out of the middle of the road. When I turned back to face "him", he was gone. I was pissed.
"Where the hell are you?" I yelled. "Stop hiding like a fucking wimp and fight me. I’m not afraid of you!" Nobody appeared. I ran back to my car and retrieved the gun from out of the trunk. I figured I had better keep it a tad longer in case I needed to kill "him" again.
I put my bloody clothes in the trash bag and splashed gasoline on the whole thing.
When I drove off all I had left behind on the side of the road was a pile of ashes.
Now I was going to get some answers. And the first place I would start would be home. The home I left a year ago.
And the first person I would call would be "her".
XVIII
COP"Sir, would you please step out of the car and keep your hands where I can see them."
The fucking pig had me. The cop opened the door of my car as I raised my hands and proceeded to get out. "What have I done officer? This can’t be because I was speeding?"
"Place you hands on the car and spread you legs wise ass." The pig said. I was getting pissed now.
"What the hell have I done?" I asked in fake panic. I knew what I did. I just wanted to see if the cop was going to say the same thing.
"You tell me son." The cop said. "Do you always drive around with a dead body in your car, or is this a new fad?"
"Don’t call me ‘son’, asshole!" I spat. The cop pushed me against the car hard. In an instant, I threw my head back and smashed him in the face. He cried out in surprise as I heard the gun drop to the road. I dropped to the ground and reached for it. The cop was on top of me in less than a second.
But I had the gun and before he knew what was happening, I had it pointed in his face. I fired. I watched the back of his head come apart and splatter all over the road and onto me. I pushed him off of me and shot him in the chest to make sure he was really dead.
He was.
Without wasting time I wrapped up the cop in an old blanket and put him in the trunk of my car. I stuffed Paula in there also in case I got pulled over again. Before I left, I looked up at the moon who was still shining brightly. Only now he had a ring of mist encircling him.
I considered the cops car. It was still running. I decided to leave it and just go.
Now I had two bodies to burn.
Paula.
And the cop.
XIX
"HER"I found a pay phone about a half a mile later at a gas station which was closed. I had to only hope that my parent’s calling card number was still valid. I dialed "her" number and then the calling card number. When I heard the phone ring, I knew it still worked. I was more scared now then I had ever been. What the hell was I going to say?
Hi honey! Long time no talk to! Hoe ya been? Miss me? God I missed you. Well, I guess you’re wondering what the hell happened to me and your so called friend who up and disappeared out of the blue? Well, to make a long story short, the night I called you at three in the morning and told you that I would always love you no matter what was the same night I killed your friend. Remember? The one who raped you? The one you forgave? And then I ran to the other side of the country. To get to the reason of this call, I wanted to know if he was really dead because I think he might be following me around here. I’ve seen him in the last couple of days, and he’s really starting to piss me off again. If he doesn’t stop I might have to kill him for real this time…
"Hello?" the voice on the other end of the phone asked. It was "her". I froze. She sounded like she did a year ago. Only she sounded groggy from being woken up. I had to bear in mind that there was a four hour time difference. It was about 5 a.m. here, so that made it 9 a.m. out there.
I wanted to reply, but no words came.
"Hello?" she asked more irritated. I didn’t respond. "Is anybody there? Hello?"
I spoke her name softly. It was all I could do. I missed her. I had to have her back. And I know that she would play the game if I asked her too. Because she loved me.
"Who is this?" She asked suddenly awake. I hung up the phone.
"Maybe calling "her" was not the best idea I had this year. I would have to get my answers another way. I needed a plan and I needed one soon, or "he" would find me again. And maybe kill me this time.
XX
REVOLUTIONHow did I get myself into this mess?
I blame Paula. If she had cooperated with me, then I would not have killed her. Then I would not have had to run, and the cop would not have come into play. I looked up at the moon as I drove on to the spot where I would burn the two bodies and be done with them for good.
"Here we go again!" I told the moon. "This day should be a holiday. Are we going to do this again same time next year also?"
No answer.
Gosh, for someone who liked you to know he was there, Mr. Moon sure didn’t have much to say.
I drove on and then the engine missed again. I was concerned. Since I had driven across country, the car liked to fuck with me. It was then I noticed my gas gauge was on ‘E’. And the warning light was flashing.
Great! Now I had to get gas and I was positive I didn’t have any money on me.
I tried to relax. I felt a strange sort of calm. That is until the damn engine missed again. I glanced at the dashboard and sighed heavily. The light of the moon shown off the dashboard. I smiled.
"It seem like every time I kill someone you’re always around to watch the whole damn thing." I told the moon as I looked up through the windshield. He just hung there with the same eerie look. The look of damnation.
After some thought, I remember a 7-11 was just about a mile up the road. I would stop there to get gas.
XXI
JOURNEYThere was only one thing left for me to do. I had to get back home and find out for myself in "he" was really dead. I would go back to Marlowe field where I buried him and dig him up. I had to see his remains. God willing my car would make the drive across country again.
I had my doubts and they were strong.
I would be going back on my word. I swore never to return to that town again. And I knew if I went I would be tempted to see "her" again.
And so I began the journey back home. I knew it would take several days to get there and that "he" was probably still following me.
When the sun came up I had already left the state. I was sure that they were looking for me in full force now. And I was almost positive that somewhere along the way I screwed up and left a trace of my existence. My association with five murders and a blown up 7-11.
Soon I would be tired and would have to sleep. I had no money and I barley had a car. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew my chances of making it back to the other side of the country unscathed were minimal.
But I have to try.
I have to try and make it back home one more time.
I have to know that "he" is really dead and that what I’m seeing now is just an illusion my mind is creating.
The real reason you see. The real reason I have to go back home.
I am haunted by my past.
Westminster, Maryland - April, 1993